24Then said Jesus unto his disciples, “if any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” 25For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)
Sometimes I get caught in the routines of life and find myself complaining about those things I cannot change. So, every so often I force myself to stop and appreciate the blessings of this life. I absolutely enjoy being the father of Alex and Bryce. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those parents who insinuate that their kids can do no wrong. Of course, my sons are not perfect, just look at their Dad. In fact, I’ve found myself “parenting” more since they graduated from high school. While both have had their challenges in college, Alex and I have had continuous conversations about race and the role race plays in our society and public policies.
I often find myself cautioning Alex about the way he carries himself (he has a fondness for athletic wear and hoodies). He gets frustrated when I remind him that certain gear elicits certain responses in this society. We’ve spent hours discussing the Trayvon Martin case. My son argues that one shouldn’t be judged by the clothes they wear. I have to agree. However, sometimes it’s never that easy. He also argues that he shouldn’t have to be a representative of the black race when he walks into a room. Now this is when I bristle.
I’ve always tried to instill a sense of family into my sons. More specifically, that sense of family includes the responsibility that a debt is owed to those who came before. For example, my father often told me of the segregation he encountered when he arrived at Lackland AFB (San Antonio) in the 1950s. By the time I started high school in the late 1970s, my brother was enrolled at Baylor University, who only began accepting black athletes in the late 1960s.
My father couldn’t have imagined ever attending such a prestigious institution of higher education. But he sacrificed every day to ensure that his sons had the opportunities he didn’t. So whatever I may be, I owe it to his perseverance and sacrifice. Before he completed his travels to the East two years ago, he was still sacrificing for his grandson through consistent and fervent prayers.
So, while Alex may not want to be a “representative” of the black race, he is. It is his cross to bear. But not only him, but every black male that has benefitted from the prayers and sacrifices of those who have gone before. It may not be fair, but it is a debt nonetheless; one that can only be paid through personal success, sacrifices, and a spirit of reverence for the past.